T. found his and his sister's Easter baskets today. I had them and a ziplock of plastic eggs in my downstairs closet. Good thing he found them, I would have been looking for them in the spring because I had no idea I had put them there.
He and R. decided to play Easter bunny and hide them all over the house. R. was taking her turn being the bunny as T. peeked hid his eyes behind his hands.
Mr. Schmitty was sitting at the island in the kitchen, eating his gluten-free cornflakes, reading the Post. Suddenly he felt a poke behind him. R. was placing an egg on the seat between him and the back of the chair.
She started to giggle as she walked into the next room.
"Hey T., I gotta tell you something." she shouts out.
"I put an egg up daddy's butt!" she blurts out in hysterics.
I'm so glad she can amuse herself!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
She just cracks herself up
Monday, October 29, 2007
Fall, Y'all!
Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer is doing it again! She is hosting another FABULOUS Bloggy Giveaway. Last year's giveaway ROCKED, though I did not win a thing. Not.one.darned.thing. But I'm not bitter, well, maybe a bit. But I'm gonna win something this year! I can feel it in my bones.
I am going to offer you, my dear, sweet readers a gift of a set of 20 Personalized Doodle Kids® Notes and coordinating Address Labels.
Doodle Kids® are cute little characters that can be customized to reflect just about any personality. There are different skin tones, hairstyles, and add-ons that will help make each of your Doodle Kids® special. Have stationery created for one character or a whole family!
All you have to do is leave a comment on this post. That's it, piece of cake, right? I'll leave the comments open until this Saturday, November 3rd. Then I'll use a random number generator to draw a winner.
Also, I will be hosting another giveaway on my shopping blog, It's Not Shopping....It's Retail Therapy! So stop by there too and see what I've got for you.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
It's Not Shopping....It's Retail Therapy!
CLICK HERE TO ENTER! This Week's Contest Will Have 12 Winners!
(This is a sticky post, scroll down for more Schmitty Life!)
Friday, October 26, 2007
Mr. Potato Head has been robbed!
I've never been one for carving pumpkins into spooky Halloween Jack-O-Lanterns. I can't take the mess. Not the mess of cleaning out the pumpkin, that's no big deal. I mean the mess my kids would make throwing the innards at each other. You know because they are such little monsters angels and all.
Nah, I'd rather take the easy route. I sometimes leave them plain, I know BOOOOR-ING. Or I would paint them, ooohhhh the excitement. Please try and contain yourself. But then last year, at Tar-jay (yes, you know it, my favorite store in the whole wide world) I found these adorable kits for decorating the pumpkins. Instant Jack-O-Lantern, minus the food fight!
Okay, so they don't light up, but candles are just so dangerous anyway, right?
The kits are actually accessories stolen from Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. Absolutely brilliant, huh?
I bought 7 sets; an angel, witch, clown, and princess, which are shown here, and a pirate, diva, and ninja. They are so easy to put together that even my little ones could do it. I just used a kabob skewer to make an X and then we pushed the posts into the pumpkin. Voila! Aren't they just darling?
Okay, smartypants, you don't have to be so judgemental! I happen to like cutesy.
Actually, this Puking Pumpkin means I've been Ghosted! That's right not only do I participate in "Real Life" Ghosting, I can get into the spirit with the Internets! Aren't I just the social butterfly?
Liz over at This Full House has picked me to help her pass along some Halloween fun. So here it goes, I am choosing Laura at Lunatic Fringe, Shauna at Pass The Chocolate, and Meleah at Momma Mia, Mea Culpa.
Here are the rules:
(1) It's your turn to "ghost" three other bloggers.
(2) Stop by their blogs and leave a comment on their latest post saying, "You've Just Been Ghosted -- Come Over and Grab A Puking Pumpkin!"
(3) Copy and paste the puking pumpkin somewhere on your blog (either in a post or on your sidebar, perhaps) so that everyone can see that you have been "ghosted" and will NOT "ghost" you again. This will also let you know who you can "ghost."
(4) Feel free to link to this post (or a post of your own) for directions, grab the puking pumpkin and go "ghost" 3 bloggers on your sidebar (preferably, somewhere you haven't commented in a while, or a blog you've NEVER commented on before and/or new to the blogosphere) and don't be afraid to share some linky love.
READY...SET....BOO! MUUAAHAAHAAHAAAAAA!
Monday, October 22, 2007
A Party Fit For A Princess
Here is the day in pictures:
The invitation.
The dining room table all decorated.
A makeover.
The silver tea service with "apple juice" tea.
Bologna and Cheese finger sandwiches.
And it wouldn't be a party without a mess!
Happy Birthday R., I hope you had as much fun as I did. I love you from here to the moon and back!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I Just Have To Shake My Head
Yesterday W. had an appointment with his ENT. W. has always been prone to nosebleeds (remember this?) and he has been getting them very frequently in the past month. The end of last week, I believe he got one almost every night. In the middle of the night. Not good for him or for me. The lack of sleep, quite honestly, kind of makes me a bit of a grump. So, I knew it was time to see the doctor again for another round of cauterizing.
I needed to fill in some paperwork, because you know how doctor's LOVE their paperwork, and W. began coughing. It wasn't a bad cough, he said he had a tickle in his throat. I told him that I thought there was a water fountain in the hallway.
He leaves and I hear his footsteps on the other side of the wall. I hear him stop. I hear him run down the hall. I then hear him run up the stairs. Yes, actually HEAR him. I hear him above me, running down the second floor hall. I am going to pound him. I shake my head, he sounds like an elephant in a library. I continue filling out the STACK of papers. Jeez, can't they just look in his file?
I suddenly hear jumping down.each.and.every.step. I smile at the receptionist. More running, getting louder, then the clomping feet stop.
What the heck is he doing?
About three minutes goes by and finally the door opens and he reappears. The front of his shirt is wet.
"What in God's name are you doing?"
"Well, there was no water fountain on this floor." Yea, I got that.
"And there was no water fountain on the upstairs floor." Okay, I got that too.
"So I just got a drink from the fountain outside the door." Hence the soaked shirt.
"That's a wishing well fountain you knucklehead!"
It must have something to do with the Y chromosome. Is it just a boy thing or should I have him evaluated?
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The Things They Say
T.: "I have 6 pussies!"
Mr. Schmitty and I spin our heads around and look at each other with shock on our faces.
Me: "WHAT?!"
T.: "I have 6 Puss 'N Boots Cheez-its left!"
Whew!
**********************************************************************
R.: "Where did my penis go?"
Me: "You don't have one!" Thinking to myself that I've had this conversation a million times with her.
R.: "I know, it must have fallen off and flushed down the toilet when I was doing pee pee."
Oh Boy!
**********************************************************************
W.: "Why do we call a W a W?"
Me: "I don't know, what else would it be called?"
W.: "It should be called a double V!"
A 9 year old's mind at work!
Sunday, October 07, 2007
The Day Of The Spills
I have absolutely no idea what was going on the other night. Things were getting knocked over, spilled, and well, soiled with liquids. Okay, peed on.
It all started with R., but of course. As it seems of late, you can't leave her alone for more than a few minutes. I think we had reached minute number three and I went to check on her. She was in the boys bedroom. The tornado that she is had pretty much demolished the room. There were toys everywhere. I looked down at T.'s bed to see something splashed across his comforter. It was bubble solution.
I removed the comforter and threw it in the laundry room. I went back upstairs to put a blanket on his bed and find R. standing with legs, wide apart, in a puddle.
"Hee hee, mama, I peed!"
No kidding.
So, I clean that up.
We are trying to get R. to stop using sippy cups. We only place a small amount of milk in her cup at dinner time, usually, so if it gets bumped the mess is minimal. Mr. Schmitty filled the cups that night. Not so minimal. I guess he forgot to ease up on her refill.
BAM! Milk all over the table. Mr. Schmitty cleans it up.
He sits down. BAM! He knocks over his glass. Sprite all over the table. Sorry dude, you are getting that one too.
He begins to sit in his chair again and realizes that R. is trying to lean over the table but is a million miles from it.
He gets up, pushes in her chair, though doesn't realize she is trying to drink her newly refilled cup of milk.
BAM! Milk all down the front of her.
BAM! T. begins laughing so hard he shoots his milk out of every facial orifice.
Time to buy a cow.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
He's A Keeper
The Schmitty household is definitely into the Halloween spirit. I love Halloween, it's right up there with Christmas for me. Autumn is my favorite time of year and October, my favorite month. The weather is perfect, the colors, and everything to do with the preparation and execution of trick or treating. I.JUST.LOVE.IT!
Yesterday I got out my decorations from the crawl space and purchased some new ones from "Tarjay"; the foam pumpkins, the skeleton hands, the skull, our very eerie floating ghoul, my giant spider, and cobwebs galore. I was a decorating fiend. The yard looks awesome.
To round out the festive night, we decided that we would be the first to "Phantom" our neighbors. For those of you who may not know about the Phantom, let me explain. First you get a treat bag and place a few pieces of candy in it. Then you decorate said bag. Next, draw a picture of a ghost and place this in the bag with the candy. Then include this poem:
TO LEAVE THE GOODIES YOU HAVE FOUND
IF YOU DO NOT WISH THE CURSE TO FALL
YOU MUST CONTINUE THE “PHANTOM” CALL
FIRST, POST THIS PHANTOM WHERE IT CAN BE SEEN
AND LEAVE IT THERE TILL THIS HALLOWEEN
THIS WILL SCARE OTHER PHANTOMS AWAY
BE SURE TO PARTICIPATE – DON’T DELAY!
SECOND, MAKE TWO TREATS, TWO PHANTOMS
AND TWO NOTES LIKE THIS
DELIVER THEM TO TWO NEIGHBORS
WHO MAY HAVE BEEN MISSED
DON’T LET THEM SEE YOU, BE SNEAKY, NO DOUBT
AND MAKE SURE THEY PUT THEIR PHANTOM GHOST OUT!
NEXT, YOU HAVE ONLY ONE DAY TO ACT, SO BE QUICK
LEAVE IT AT A DOOR THE PHANTOM HAS NOT HIT!
DELIVER AT DARK WHEN THERE IS NO LIGHT
RING THE DOORBELL AND RUN AND STAY OUT OF SIGHT!
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, ENJOY THE SEASON.
DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS
BE COOL, HAVE FUN, AND REMEMBER, DON’T BE SEEN
SHARE THE SPIRIT OF HALLOWEEN!!!
TAPE THE PHANTOM PICTURE ON YOUR FRONT DOOR
OR WINDOW WHERE IT CAN BE SEEN EASILY
SO YOU WON’T BE GHOSTED AGAIN.
IF YOU GET GHOSTED ON OCTOBER 30TH, IT’S UP TO YOU TO
BE THE FIRST PHANTOM NEXT YEAR.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Lastly, pick two neighbors, we picked three because each kid wanted to be the head phantom, and place the treat bag in front of the door, ring or knock, then run like hell and hide. It's hilarious and so much fun!
You should have seen my fat butt running from a door with R. on my hip. She was laughing like crazy and bouncing, along with my boobs, all the way behind a bush. I had to cover her mouth to keep her quiet!
We have a new neighbor, V., who is working on his home before he moves in. He is in his twenties and just got engaged. He is a really great guy and the Schmitty kids adore him. He was at the house today working and W. noticed. He asked if we could phantom him tonight. Mr. Schmitty called V., to let him in on it, that way the kids had enough time to hide. He was all for it.
Mr. Schmitty took them across the street. They each had their own bag and treat because they just HAD to give V. something from each of them. They knocked and ran like crazy back into our house. We all peeked from behind the living room curtains. Now, he could have just come out and picked up the treat bag and gone back in. But he made the biggest deal out of it. It was so great! He checked behind the bushes, up and down the street, and around the side of the house. He then picked up the bag and sat down on his steps. He opened everything and read the poem. He then went back inside. When he came out he had tape and hung the phantom picture up like the directions said to do.
He did all of this for my kids! The kids he only met this past summer. It was awesome and I am grateful and thrilled that he took a little time out of his life to make my children smile. And me too.
V., welcome to the neighborhood!
Monday, October 01, 2007
Jeff Dunham and Walter
FYI: There is a new contest running at my other blog. It's Not Shopping....It's Retail Therapy! has a giveaway for a $100 Shopping Spree to a great website! Anyone with daughters is gonna love it!
