Makes Me Sick

Yesterday on AOL News there was an article about self-admitted pedophile, Jack McClellan. I read it and almost vomited. This man animal has created a website that is a "how to guide" on locating little girls, for other pedophiles. He claims he is not committing a crime because he has not had physical contact with these little girls. The website was shut down by the ISP, however, police can not stop him from creating another website because he has not crossed any lines yet. YET?! So, let's just wait until he does?! Are you effing kidding me?

Men Sick S.O.B.'s like this guy are the reason I don't post complete pictures of my children on my blog. He has taken pictures at children's events and posted them on his website with a rating system. One mother from California saw her daughter on this website! Can you imagine the horror she must have felt?

I am a child abuse survivor myself. I can tell you first hand what something like that does to you. Pedophiles think this is love, they think it's okay. Let me tell you, it's not okay with the child, it's not natural, it's not love, it's a crime and it needs to STOP! This country needs to start protecting our children.

I Googled this guy's name because I was looking for the website of the women who are on a mission to stop him. This group of women from Los Angeles are fighting back, to see their CBS interview, visit Peachheadfamilies.com. During my search I found a website JackMcClellan.com. You would think that this would be the website the freak owns, but in reality it is an anti-Jack McClellan site. The owner, Ron, has acquired the domain and is stealing all of this monsters internet traffic! BRILLIANT!

We need to keep our children safe from these dangerous predators. There are too many sex offenders running rampant. If you visit FamilyWatchdog.us and type in your city, state, and zip you can view offenders in your area. I live in a nice suburban area. There are 39 sex offenders within a 3 mile radius of my home. There are 9 in my town!

I am sick at all of this, it's time for the innocent to come first. Heaven Hell help anyone who comes near my children!

Drum Roll Please......

For those of you on the edge of your seats, I will now reveal my winners to the Dog Days Of Summer Giveaway! As stated in my last post, I have added a surprise and I will be awarding not one, not two, but three lucky participants with a set of Personalized Doodle Kids® Notes with Coordinating Address Labels!

Okay, here goes.......

W. is picking a name...it....iiiiissss......Stephanie at Olive Tree!

Now T. is making his selection and the winner is......Lacey (nicknbellezmom)!

And last but not least, little Miss R. She's searching through the list, no wait, she needs a potty break. Okay, sorry, she's back, she's searching.....it is Karla at Ramblin' Roads To Everywhere!

Congratulations ladies!

I will be contacting you personally so we can create your Personalized Stationery from Doodle Kids®.

For those of you who didn't win, I would like to thank you for entering my giveaway by offering you all a discount on my products. Please accept my discount of 15% off all orders upon checkout using the coupon code "MrsSchmitty".

Thanks again Shannon, this was so much fun!

My Giveaway Is Officially Closed!

I'm so sorry if you didn't get to enter, but I have officially closed entries for the Dog Days Of Summer Bloggy Giveaway.

I have 288 entries!!! WOW! I have just printed out the list of entries and I am going to have my very special guest judges, Judge W., Judge T., and Judge R., pick the winners. And yes, I said WINNERS. I have decided because of the great response to this wonderful giveaway, that the brilliant Shannon of Rocks In My Dryer has come up with, I am awarding 3 sets of Notes with Coordinating Address Labels to 3 lucky people.

Also, to avoid any fighting in my house, because mommy is always fair, each kid has to pick a winner. If I don't do this, I'll be dealing with that fiasco all weekend!

So, good luck and I'll be posting the winners a little later on!

Thursday Thirteen # 1

Thirteen Reasons I Need A Boob Reduction

1. I just spent $200 at Victoria Secret. If I had little boobies I could buy $12 bras instead of $45 bras. I guess less fabric, lower the price.


2. I HAVE to fall sleep on my stomach. I spend ten minutes positioning the darn things just to get comfortable. God forbid someone disturbs me and I have to get back up!


3. You can tell which side of the bed I occupy just by the indentations in the mattress.


4. W. hugs me and his chin rests right between them. If I say something to him he can't hear because they are like muffs on his ears.


5. My kids are obsessed with them because, well, they are hard to overlook.


6. The straps have left a gully on each shoulder, it would work great to keep my purse straps from falling....if I could ever be in public BRA LESS!


7. I'm sick of my neck and back swearing at me every day and night.


8. My daughter, who is 3, wants a bra.


9. My bedroom television is on the wall toward the foot of our bed. When I lie down I can't see it if I'm wearing my bra.


10. If I take off my bra to see tv they fall into my arm pits and I feel like I'm wearing water wings.


11. I can't run without the fear of black eyes.


12. I threw a ball to my son the other day, I actually HEARD them smack together.


13. When the kids aren't around and Mr. Schmitty says something sarcastic to me, I usually flash him in response. Pretty soon I'll have to lift up my pant leg instead of my shirt.

Thursday Thirteen

Other Thirteeners

Dog Days Of Summer Bloggy Giveaway!

{I will be leaving this post as a sticky all week, so don't forget to scroll down to read more of "It's A Schmitty Life"!}

Have you read about the Dog Days Of Summer Bloggy Giveaway, hosted by Rocks In My Dryer? Well I have and I'm offering a great prize from my business, the Doodle Kids® Shop! Beginning today until Friday, July 27, 2007 at 12 noon (Eastern Standard Time) you have the chance to be the winner of a set of 20 Personalized Doodle Kids® Notes with coordinating Address Labels. You don't have to be a blogger to enter, just leave a comment to this post and voilà...you're good to go! Lastly, don't forget to visit Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer to see all of the other great goodies you can win from participating bloggers!

Good Luck to all!

One More Day!

See that cute pup on my sidebar? Isn't he A-DOR-A-BLE? He's the mascot for the Dog Days Of Summer Bloggy Giveaway hosted by Shannon of Rocks In My Dryer. The giveaway starts tomorrow and I've got something great for you all! So, don't forget to come back then and see what's cookin'!

So Cool!

Well, he got them. W. finally got the braces that he has been wanting desperately since his cousin A. got them in May. Can you believe he WANTED them? Apparently things are quite different from when I was a kid. Nobody in their right mind wanted to be a metal mouth. I never had braces, which I really, really should have had. My teeth are very crowded and I have an extremely high palate which makes allergy season even more difficult. My dentist said I could have this corrected. I asked him if it would be difficult. He said it would be very difficult. I told him I'd pass. I wish my parents had done something back when it would have been worth it. But back when I was young my parents didn't have dental insurance. They didn't make much money and quite honestly why would my father save for braces when it might take away from his beer money.

Whatever.

Now kids can choose colors for their braces. There are bands that cover each piece of hardware on each tooth. The bands come in all kinds of colors. My niece even had hers red, white, and blue for July 4th. W. picked green for the top and blue for the bottom. See?

He only has 3 adult teeth on top and 4 on the bottom. Orthodontists start kids earlier now. I guess the earlier problems are resolved, the better. W.'s bottom jaw doesn't come out enough so it looks as though his top front teeth protrude. He will wear this set for 9-12 months. Then he'll have a retainer and eventually he'll get a full set when his adult teeth are done coming in.

He was so awesome while the doctor was putting them on. I remember my niece said it hurt and she was in agony. She also complained. A Lot. I was worried W. would flip out in the chair. He didn't complain at all. I tell you, I can never quite figure out how he'll react to things. I mean this is the boy whose scream can be heard for miles. Remember this?

My heart broke for him the day after his appointment though. He was being so brave, but I knew they hurt. He took a bite out of a chicken nugget and just started to cry. Thank goodness for Wendy's Chocolate Frostys because that became his lunch. I'm not so sure he's as crazy about these braces now, but he's dealing with it like a trooper.

Follow Up To The Fugly Car

I needed this video yesterday. I think all of the moms out there can relate!

The Fugly Car

We own two cars. My precious Mazda MPV minivan and a Honda CRV. The CRV is Mr. Schmitty's car. It used to be mine. That's how it usually works. When we purchase a new car, I get it, and the old one passes down to him. It's not because he doesn't count around here, it's just because, well, we really don't NEED two cars. Mr. Schmitty has a work vehicle and when he isn't working, we are usually together. I hate paying insurance on another car, but we keep it for the infrequent times we need to be in two places at the same time.

Like today.

W. needed to be taken to his religious class/camp and I had to have my tooth filled. Now, I couldn't very well take T. and R. with me to the dentist and the car seats are in the minivan, so that meant I needed to take the CRV. Crap Damn It UGH!

As is usual, I had just enough time to leave and drive to the dentist. Mr. Schmitty started the car for me to cool it off. He informed me (surprise, SURPRISE), "The car needs gas." So I grab my purse and run out the door hoping I didn't hit any red lights on the way. I take one look at the car and think, "Man, this car needs a washing!" I don't think it's gotten one since the last rain storm. I jump in the car and get hit in the face with hot air. Thanks dearie for forgetting to turn the dial from hot to cold. Red means hot, blue means cold. I look down at the gas gauge. It's already on E. "Wonderful!" I spew out loud as I begin to back out of the driveway.

I look left, no cars, I look right....EWWWW, the birds or maybe a very large elephant, did a number on the passenger side window. Honestly, I can barely see out of it, but I don't have time. I drive about 8 minutes to the gas station, praying the engine doesn't conk out on me. I pull in and there are about 12 cars ahead of me. OH.COME.ON! The attendant finally gets to me and I know he's not washing the enormous turd off the window, 'cause he ain't looked like he done showered in a week.

While I'm sitting there I make a mental note to ask Mr. Schmitty to fumigate clean this piece of shit fine piece of machinery. I look all around me and this is what I see:

1. A million bunched up tissues, that I.WILL.NOT.TOUCH!
2. About 57 Chuck E. Cheese tokens all over the place, I haven't taken the kids to Chuck E. Cheese in at least 2 years, so yea, they've been there a while.
3. Assorted broken and unbroken cd cases, which are pointless to even have in there as the radio/cd player doesn't work. Though I must say I did enjoy the silence.
4. A New York Post from August 17, 2006, I guess he's saving it because there is a free Spider Man comic in it???!!!
5. Beach toys and a beach blanket, which I left out the other night between the car and the garage. So it would make sense he would put it in the car we never use instead of the garage, because, well, then I won't be able to find it next time.
6. A bunch of other crap like jumper cables and other nonsense.
7. A tv, it needs to go to a friend to be fixed. It's been in there for weeks, it looks like I just burglarized someone or I'm beginning my own junk yard business. I am beginning to feel like I'm in an episode of Sandford and Son.
8. Oh, and there is also a sample size can of "non-vacuuming" Carpet Fresh, which I know he hasn't used because there was some funky smells going on in there.

I handed my money to the grubby man and then used the hand sanitizing lotion I found under the seat for good measure. I lay back down and put the car into drive. You may have noticed that I said "I lay back down". I have no idea WHY but after Mr. Schmitty gets a hold of a car, the driver seat seems to always get stuck in a tilted back position. Maybe the dentist can also give me a shot of Novocaine in my back, I'm gonna need it driving like that!

Dating Again

Yes, that's right, I'm dating again. I told R. this morning that I was going out with my boyfriend today. I told her she needed to be a good girl for grandma while I'm gone.

"Where are you going mama?"

"I'm going out on a date with my boyfriend."

"Where?"

"We are going to see the new Harry Potter movie."

"Are you going to have popcorn?"

"Of course."

She stops and thinks for a minute.

"Your boyfriend is going on a date too?"

"Yes with me. Should I kiss him?"

"Yes! On the lips!"

I giggle.

"Where's daddy? Is he working?" she asks very matter-of-factly.

"Silly girl, he's my boyfriend!"

I know, I know, one of these days I'll pay when the kids make me go on Jerry Springer.

He'd Make A Great Voice Over Actor For A Slasher Film

Our street is being repaved. It's about time. Before they actually do the repaving the gas company is putting in a new line. The road has been torn up for two weeks now. Yesterday the workers began digging up the street in front of our house. The boys, of course, wanted to watch them take their 23rd break of the day work.

I made the boys their lunch and they sat on our front steps to watch the progress. They loved watching the big trucks and machines do their jobs.

The boys were told to stay on the front steps and not bother the men. And because my children just follow the rules oh so much, I made sure to check on them every few minutes. Please note the sarcasm. I was in the kitchen just sure that one of them was peering down into the gaping hole in the pavement, while the other was climbing up on the side of a dump truck.

Anyway, I was getting R. a drink and I heard a blood curdling, high pitched scream. I ran to the door, not because I was scared someone got hurt, no, no, I ran to the door because I was embarrassed as hell! I know that scream. It's the scream of a completely dramatic 9 year old who screams like a girl.

I stuck my head out the front door and there was W. standing in the middle of the yard. He is pointing to the other side of the yard and yelling, "Bee!"

I look up at the two workers that have now stopped what they were doing. One places his hand over his heart and looks like he's seen a ghost. The other is just staring with his mouth wide open.

"Oh for God's sake W., you just gave those guys a heart attack!"

The two guys break out into hysterics.

"I swear, I can NOT wait until your voice changes!"

The Mind Of A 3 Year Old

Yesterday R. was all wrapped up in her Princess towel after taking a dip in her kiddie pool. She was sitting next to me and talking my ear off, as is usual for my little chatterbox. She was telling me a story.

"W. hides his boogers."

"Oh he does, does he."

"Yes, he has a collection."

"Where does he keep this collection?"

"In a jar."

"That's pretty gross, isn't it?"

"Yea, and he puts the jar in the oven and cooks them!"

She is now giggling.

"MY OVEN? EWWW!"

A little belly laugh emerges from under the towel.

"And then he puts them on a plate and eats them!!"

She's so dainty, isn't she, always the perfect little lady. That's what she gets for having two older brothers.

Later on that day we were all cuddled on the couch watching tv. I began to hear thunder off in the distance and knew we were in for a storm.

"It sounds like the Angels are warming up for another bowling game."

R.: "They are?"

"Yes, don't you hear the thunder?" And with that there was the thunder.

"Um Hum." she says very quietly as she looks out the window.

"Who's going to win tonight? The Angels or Grandpa?"

"Grandpa, but the Angels should really read a book."

"Why?"

"Because it's quieter!"

She snuggles in closer and I just know she is praying that the storm is over quickly.

My Business

Okay, I'm going to finally throw this out there. I've been writing now for a while and I have only touched upon the fact that I own my own small business. When I use the term small, I mean tiny, minuscule, really small. I started it by accident a few years ago and I hope to work and build it full time when the Schmitty kids are all in school.

Last year I advertised pretty big and it definitely took a big chunk from my pocketbook. I pulled back on it a bit this year. Between the health issues I had in the winter, Mr. Schmitty's new work hours, and just the everyday hectic lives we lead, I have been content with the flow of customers being slow. I am ready to turn it up a notch, just one click. I am bringing my business to you, my wonderful bloggy friends.

A lot of you have commented on my blog design. The little characters you see are my Doodle Kids®. They are characters you can customize with skin color, hair color, and add-ons to create one of a kind stationery items. And just for you, please accept a discount of 15% on all items, just use coupon code "MrsSchmitty" when your order is paid for. (Offer expires 12/31/07)

If you are interested, please drop by my website and take a look around. I have designed a bunch of adorable products that might just make you smile.

UPDATE: Thank you all so much for all of your wonderful comments! And for spreading the word for me, I truly appreciate all of your help, you all ROCK!!

What Happens When You Are Made With Sugar And Spice?

This is R.'s self portrait. She made this crayon drawing this morning after she looked in the mirror. Do you notice that one eye is smaller than the other?

This is why:

Didn't she just perfect the realism? This is what happens when my daughter gets bitten by a mosquito. She puffs up. The other day she had a bite on her knee. The knee swelled up twice it's size. We take all of the precautions; bug repellent, citronella pots, we even place those Off citronella bracelets on the kids. The only thing left is to make the kid stay indoors....forever.

Poor kid, she must just be extra sweet and tasty!

We Could Have Been A Baseball Team!

I've always wondered how women who have a lot of children can handle it. I only have three and sometimes I'm close to a breakdown. When I hear of families with 6, 7, 8, or more kids, my mouth just drops open. How.in.the.world?!

First of all the expense. Wow. I can't imagine. Secondly the food consumption. Again, WOW! My kids eat like birds and I feel like I'm constantly at the grocery store. Every time I turn around they are in the refrigerator. So what about the kids who are gavones? How do you keep up? Do you buy a cow? Grow your own vegetables?

And forget about laundry. Holy crow you must do about 10 loads a day. I can't even fathom how much detergent you must go through.

I guess with a lot of kids you do have help. Yes, the older ones would HAVE to chip in. You'd really have to space the births just right to optimize the live-in babysitter factor. Otherwise, I think you'd be completely doomed.

I had a dose today of what it might be like to have a large brood. My best friend's father was hospitalized. She was extremely upset and I told her to drop her kids off on the way because I insisted she go be with him. She was reluctant because she knew I'd be alone, as Mr. Schmitty was working. You see she has four children and she was also caring for her two nephews. I told her I knew this and to stop wasting time. So, with those six and my own I was in charge of a total of nine children, ranging in ages from 3 years old to 13 years old.

Mr. Schmitty left the house to go to work and wished me luck. He had a look on his face that made me want to laugh. His expression was a mixture of fear and relief, if the two are able to possibly mix. The fear, I believe, was if he'd find me either with my head in the oven upon returning or that I would be tied up, gagged, and the kids would be on the roof throwing eggs at passersby. His look of relief came from the realization that he was getting the hell out of dodge.

I must say I am quite proud of myself. This only being said after six children have gone, three children and a puppy have fallen asleep, one house has been cleaned up, and some wine has been downed. The day has been a success. My friend is happier upon being with her dad, there were no casualties, and the only thing that went MIA was a pink flip flop, to which is STILL missing.