My 500th Post!

I can't believe it.

I have written 500 entries and placed them on this blog since I started it on January 4, 2007.

4 years ago?

Wow. Time does fly.

In honor of this milestone, I read through my entries. I laughed. I cried. I remembered.

So, today, I would like to share some of my favorites with you. Most of the posts are funny. A few are not. But they all are a part of me.

I hope you enjoy the memories as much as I did.

1. Dating Again
2. A Special Ingredient?
3. Eyes
   
4. They Can't Possibly Make A Display Case Large Enough
5. Like A Scene In A Romance Novel
6. If You Give A Child A Bar Of Soap
7. I Should Really Think These Things Through
8. And This Is What I Have To Live With
9. So I Gave Birth To An Axe Murderer
10. Whooooo Are You? Who? Who?
11. He'll Fall For Just About Anything
12. Such A Little Lady
13. I Hope HE Didn't Teach HER That!
14. Vengeance Is Mine!
15. The Laughs Just Keep Coming
16. Flip Flops Should Come With A Disclaimer
17. Nevermind A Beep, We Need A BLEEP!
18. Proof That I Am A Reincarnated Adolescent Boy
19. Superballs and Bouncy Balls
20. Learning To Read In Target

So tell me, which is YOUR favorite?

I Wonder How Long It Will Take Him To Notice

It's no secret that Mr. Schmitty and I take pleasure in busting each other's chops. Our marriage thrives on laughter and what could be more entertaining than poking fun at your significant other? Thus, every once in a while, when things get a bit stressful and a bit too serious around here, I find the need to amuse myself.

I have a bit of a twisted, child-like sense of humor. It doesn't take much for me to double over in sheer cackling delight.

In other words, I can be completely immature.

For instance, when I needed a little pick me up, all it took was the hubby's cell phone and I was happy again. And I will never forget the fun I had with this one!

Finding pleasure at Mr. Schmitty's expense can be a total euphoric experience.

It's a regular Romper Room around here at times, I tell you. Well, Romper Room with a dash of slapstick comedy teetering on the inappropriate.

Okay, so some of it is COMPLETELY tasteless but we get each other, so it works.

Lately, I've been in the mood for some tomfoolery. I've developed a twitch in my left eye and that usually indicates I'm a bit tense.

Now, before I divulge how I spent my day, let me give you some back story.

Mr. Schmitty has an Xbox Live addiction, most in particular, he needs his Call of Duty fix on a regular basis or he'll quite possibly implode.

He can become quite immersed in character during game play. You should see him sitting in the recliner, which he moves right in front of our flatscreen, wearing his helicopter pilot-looking headset with mic. His gamertag has the word Bulldog in it, you know, so he sounds tough.

Heh.

So, there he'll sit, he and his bad self, playing into the wee hours of the morning without so much as a yawn to slow him down. Something, I might add, that drives me nuts because when he and I spend "quality couple time" together, I'm usually prying the remote from his sleep induced grip of steel and wiping the drool off of my shoulder.

But I should understand; Xbox is the shit, yo.

Not wanting to be the wife that interferes with her husbands hobbies, I went online today to renew his yearly gold membership.

While I was online, I noticed his avatar:

It is actually a very good likeness of him.

Then I noticed something else. And the evil thoughts began to manipulate the computer mouse. I had no control.

Really.

The final results produced this new and improved version of Mr. Schmitty:I'm hoping to be present to see the look on his face when he finally realizes his "persona" looks a bit like Dwayne Schneider on psychedelics.

I'm thinking he might want to change his gamertag to something a little more hip. Maybe something with RicoSauve in it.

I'm sure the "buddies" he plays with will have fun helping him choose an appropriate moniker!

Eh, I Don't Care Why You Click It, Just "LIKE" Me!

If you have a Facebook page, you probably know that there are a ton of groups, causes, and such that you can follow, simply by clicking on "LIKE".

If you don't have a Facebook page, you probably have no idea what I am talking about, in which case, you are excused from reading this post. Now, go directly to Facebook and jump into 2011, um, k? Oh, and don't forget to "LIKE" "It's A Schmitty Life".

Anyway.....

I have a tendency to "LIKE" many things, such as; Sutter Homies, Moms who need wine, and OMG I so need a glass of wine or I'm gonna sell my kids.

I think I'm detecting a pattern here.

I'm not just about the wine though, really. I follow important stuff too; A Day for Hearts: Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day, Marching for Maddie, and Violence Unsilenced.

See? I'm not a complete waste OR completely wasted, for that matter.

But I've got a question for you. Did you ever "LIKE" something and not know what you were, well, LIKING?

(P.S. I just looked up LIKING on Dictionary.com. Has a word ever just LOOKED funny to you when you typed it? I kept thinking it was LICKING. But that would have been weird because I'm sure you would have known what you were LICKING. Well, I hope you would anyway.)

But back to my question.

The reason for my question is due to a conversation I had yesterday. It came to my attention that some of you are LIKING "It's A Schmitty Life" on Facebook, yet? You have NO IDEA what it actually is.

I went to the school to pick up my youngest children and met up with two moms that I know. I just love these two women and enjoy chatting with them as we wait for our kids to get dismissed.

D: "I saw your Facebook status, you are so funny!" She said to me.

Me: "Funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to effin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how?"

JUST KIDDING! I didn't say that, but that would have been a riot, am I right? Good 'ole Joe Pesci, that line is classic!

What I really bashfully said was, "Awww, thanks, I try".

D: "Really! You should have a blog!"

Blink. Blink.

Me: "I DO! Don't you follow me?" I asked, although I already KNEW that they BOTH did.

T: "How do I not know this?" Pipes up the other mom.

D: "OH! That "It's A Schmitty Life" thing?"

T: "OH! That's what that is?!"

Blink. Blink.

POP! Pffffffffffffffffffffft.

That, my friends? That would be the burst and deflation of my ego.

My Favorite Pictures From 2010

See? They don't always fight, sometimes, they just love each other!

R. and two of her BFFs walking in the mall.
So freaking cute!

W. dressed up for his music class concert.
The theme was Chills and Thrills.

T. does NOT like his picture taken. That expression? It totally captures how he is feeling about posing for yet another picture.

We did a lot of swimming this past summer. R., a whopping 34 lbs., had enough floats on her to keep an elephant from drowning.

The release of our butterflies. We watched over 30 caterpillars transform into beautiful Painted Ladies.

T. allowed for this picture because he was in hiding.
This shot made the 2010 Christmas card.

Another picture from our butterfly release. This one loved R. and stayed with her for over an hour before it flew away.

W.'s self portrait done in shadow.

A rare smile caught with my camera. AND he knew I was taking his picture. Imagine that!

This photo also made the 2010 Christmas card. I think my daughter looks so sweet and precious here.

W.'s first time fishing. HE LOVED IT!!

This photo cracks me up every time I see it. We were at the boardwalk and the kids thought it would be a good idea to feed the rats with wings some pretzel.

R. and my nephew, J., share the same birthday. I love that they get to blow out candles together.

This was from our trip to the Great Wolf Lodge. W. was having a blast!

And last, but not least, Daddy and his little girl.
This truly melts my heart.

Resolutions, Smezolutions

So, how many of you have given in and made a New Year's Resolution? Or better yet, we are 7 days into 2011, how many of you have KEPT those resolutions so far?

How many have not?

See, I decided this year there will be no positive resolutions; no commitment to a Mrs. Schmitty overhaul. I'm simply not going to make any promises that I can't keep.

In other words, there will be no writing checks my ass can't cash.

Year after year I gear up for the new me to emerge. I will lose weight, I will get in shape, I will be more healthy, I will save more money, I will pay down more debt, I will organize this house, I will spend more time with family and friends, I will take more time for myself, I will, I will, I will.

"HA!" I say.

Each and every one of those resolutions? EPIC FAIL.

Why kid myself when usually the opposite of what I say I will do actually happens? Why set myself up for a fall that is clearly inevitable?

That's too depressing, right?

Instead, I believe a little reverse psychology is in order. I have officially resolved myself as being a giant flop. I'm gonna be a lazy, unhealthy, broke-ass, disheveled, antisocial, fatigued and overburdened slob.

Mark my words, if I put that to the test, I will be sitting quite pretty by December. Just you wait, I'm going to be King of the World!

Either that, or homeless and living in a cardboard box by myself. At least, I'll get some me time.

There's One In Every Group

My middle child, T., is the smartypants of our clan. Count on him to be the one to antagonize, instigate, throw a zinger of a comment here and there, and basically be the master of pushing buttons.

He loves to torment, especially his little sister.

Case in point, R. made a craft foam ornament at school. It was an adorable gingerbread girl. I removed it from her school folder and told her what a great job she had done on it.

Isn't it cute?


We have two Christmas Trees in our house. Our family tree, which is in the living room, and a small 4 foot tree we keep in our computer room that the kids call "Their Tree". R. wanted to place her ornament on "Their Tree" as soon as she finished her homework. I placed the little gingerbread girl on the dining room table where her brother, T., was also seated doing homework.

That is where I made my mistake.

As in grand T. fashion, the minute R. and I weren't looking, well, he went to work...and did this:



See what I'm up against?

A few weeks ago, I purchased some really cute glass sun catchers. The set of 4, hand-painted, Christmas themed tiles would be perfect for my backdoor window which is a frame of small panes.

I placed my tiles in the window and thought they looked completely charming. I especially like when the sun shines through them in the mornings; they really light up.

Just this morning, however, I noticed that the 4th tile was a little off. I looked at it quite puzzled; a frown creased my forehead.

How could I not have noticed this before?!

My eyes grew larger. What was the artist, who created these tiles, thinking? I thought of my middle child and giggled. He would appreciate the humor, I thought to myself.


The artist MUST have a personality like my son, who else could give a Cardinal a set of balls like that?!

A Retraction, An Apology, and A Lesson Learned

Once upon a time there was a woman who completely made an ass of herself. You see, this woman has a major flaw in her personality. When she gets pissed off she has a tendency to vent before thinking. She says things, that really, if she cooled off first and gathered her thoughts, well, she would never say them in the first place.

That woman? Well, she'd be me.

It was recently brought to my attention that I, once again, blew off steam without using my brain cells. In essence? I stuck my size 8 1/2 foot into my ginormous mouth.

About a year and a half ago, I wrote on It's A Schmitty Life, about someone who had angered me. I addressed an incident that had taken place that I was less than thrilled with. And while I will not apologize for the fact that I was unhappy and do feel that I had every right to be, I will apologize for the way that I reacted.

I was basically rude, obnoxious, and mean. All the things I hate to see in people. All the things I claim not to be.

And I did it all here on this blog. For the world to see.

Now, when I wrote the post, which I have since taken down, I was writing to the Internets. The faceless readers that I do not know. And though that is no excuse for my actions, I never thought in a million years that my readership would grow to include those I would know in real life. I truly thought that I could bare my soul and talk about anything because no one knew me or the subjects I was writing about.

I was wrong.

I had forgotten about the incident in question; thus, I had also forgotten that I had even written about it. If I had remembered, I would have deleted it long ago.

I am honestly sorry for the way I handled my anger. I've learned a little bit about myself and also quite a valuable lesson.

I hope to be forgiven.

To be continued.......